Jacqueline and Joseph

    

     It’s almost anniversary time again. On May 21st, 2011, we’ll celebrate 28 years as married people. I am inspired to announce this after finding a photograph in a box in the basement earlier today. Yes, “the great 28”! Our anniversary may be just another day in most lives, but to us it is a miracle. Let me tell you the story of how we almost didn’t survive “the great 1”!

     In 1984, Jackie and I decided that Cape May, New Jersey, with its Victorian architecture, nautical splendor, and romantic atmosphere, was the perfect venue for a young childless couple to spend an occasion as significant as their first wedding anniversary. The thought of seeing the historical lighthouse, the specialty shops, the historical traditions of Sunset Beach…It promised to be a relaxing celebration of a momentous occasion.

     Now, this seemingly perfect vacation had commenced. A relaxing stroll on the small boardwalk was a perfect release of tension from the drive there. Soon, we were out to dinner at a wonderful seafood restaurant in the harbor.

     I think this is a good time to mention that I have several personality flaws. I hate to part with a buck unless I know exactly where it's going.....basically, I'm cheap.....uh.....frugal. To say I'm stubborn seems moot. We're all stubborn, aren't we? Apparently, God sent us to Cape May on our first anniversary to see how much our one year old marriage would withstand my thrifty and sometimes difficult nature.

     That restaurant was fabulous, and we got to enjoy some lobster tails and wine, and just celebrate us.  Then, IT happened.  Now, I’ve never been superstitious.  I never believed in anything I couldn’t see, hear, or feel, and I certainly didn’t believe that walking under a ladder or seeing a black cat was bad luck.  Most importantly, I certainly didn’t believe in Murphy’s Law, or that things happening in threes….until that night!

     Happening number one occurred at the end of dinner when I paid the bill and left the tip in cash.  All was fine until I realized that there were too few larger bills left in my wallet when we were walking out the door.  How could a cheapskate…uh…frugal person make such a blunder.  I wanted to go back and see the server again to get some of my money back, but Jackie wouldn’t let me.  She begged me to let it go.  I didn’t go back into the restaurant to get any money, but I did grumble under my breath and stomp toward the car…leading to happening number two.

     As if my behavior during happening number one wasn’t enough, the hole I dug for myself after happening number two was seemingly irreparable.  Upon reaching the car to drive back to the motel, we realized that the headlights were on and looking quite dim.  I had left them on the whole time we were in the restaurant.  Of course the car wouldn’t start, and we had to have it towed to a repair shop right near the harbor and the restaurant.  It was so close, yet so far.  What else could go wrong?

     Well, the first two happenings, the first two blunders led to happening number three.  Though this event in itself wasn’t a blunder, it would not have happened without the first two.  The final expense for the evening was the ride in the cab back to the hotel.  I could only imagine what the cost of the car repair in a resort town would be!  The events of the evening changed the tone of the trip for me, but even as I began to relax in the hotel, and wanted things to return to normal, my behavior and obsession with the money I had lost had taken its toll.  We went to bed disappointed that night, obviously not what we had anticipated.  I was now beginning to believe in Murphy’s Law and the threesome of things happening cliché.

     What a difference a good night’s sleep and a gorgeous day full of miraculous happenings make!  Miraculous happening number one was the perfect late spring day we were given with sunshine and breezes, suitable for walking the path that the cab had driven the night before.  It was amazing how therapeutic that walk was.  We talked honestly about the importance of the occasion, and the triviality of the money spent the night before, and the silliness of my behavior.  I knew we’d be better for having experienced all the events of the trip, I wished I didn’t have to learn the hard way to control myself.       

     The second miraculous happening came when we arrived at the station to pick up the car and the repair was only a pittance!  I was repentant, for sure, but the thing that clinched the whole state of mind for the trip was about to come!

     Jackie suggested that before we get in the car and drive back to the hotel, that we take a walk along the harbor, leading to miraculous happening number three.  She shrieked suddenly, “Joe….Look!” and started running toward the harbor and then IT came into view….a fishing boat with the name ‘Jacqueline and Joseph’ on it!  Now it wouldn’t be as surprising if the name ‘Jackie and Joe’ was on the boat.  It was stunning to us that those names were on that boat and spelled exactly as our own.

     As expected, the anniversary vacation became a rousing success, and more great meals were consumed, sights were seen and enjoyed, shops were visited, and the story of that whole trip, and especially the picture, is a family favorite!  My frugalness…uh…cheapness and stubbornness are definitely part of my personality, but never again did I get that upset over such trivia.

     I didn’t think much about Murphy’s Law after that, and realized that all triple happenings didn’t have to be bad.  I still think that there was a reason that boat with its appropriate name appeared when it did.  It was a sign and a gift.  I am glad for that anniversary excursion, with all its good and bad, and its significance as a new beginning for Jackie and me.

    

      

Memories...........

1994.......A typical scene in the late 80's and early 90's. 
One in each arm, and one on my back,
And one wandering not too far from the pack........

Pearls From the Past

Out of the mouths of babes......Some tidbits from my tenure as an educator.......

1

This particular day, the vocabulary review word was wise and a 3rd grader volunteered that it meant "really old and have been through life - like you". Then she smiled.

2

The kids read Ramona Forever, a story about a family having a baby. Ramona isn't allowed in the maternity ward because she is too young. I tell the kids that when this story took place, kids weren't allowed in maternity wards. Then I had to explain what a maternity ward was because they never heard of one.  Well, most of them had heard of that place where Moms and Dads go to have babies, but they had never heard of the term maternity ward.  When we reviewed Ramona Forever, I repeated that Ramona's parents are going to the hospital to have the baby and one student yells, "YEAH,  HER WATER PROBABLY BROKE!" I didn't know about that kind of thing until Jackie and I were expecting our firstborn! My, how times have changed!

3

In a related Ramona story, students talked about how it feels to have a new sibling. A dialogue commenced:

Student:                  Do you have kids?

Me:                        Yes, three boys and one girl, and it is my girl's birthday.

Student:                  What's her name?

Me:                         Karen.

Another Student:     How old is she?

Me:                         22.

Another Student      That's impossible! Then you must be 32!

A Third Student      Nah, you must be in your 40's!

I told them how right they all were and moved on, feeling that I was enjoying being with those kids that day!

More tidbits to come!

NBC, CBS, ABC, VHF, UHF, VCR, VHS, DVD, DVR, RCA: A Personal History of TV Viewing

I am a procrastinator when it comes to trying new technology.  I think my parents instilled that in me at a very young age.  If it ain’t broke, don’t replace it!  I’m sure that’s what they were thinking.  Way back in the 60’s, we had a single black and white television in the family room of our house.  There were three VHF channels which would be received looking quite unwatchable unless one of us went into the attic to adjust the rickety old antenna.  Three networks, NBC, CBS, and ABC, broadcasting so much quality television programming, and six family members of so many different ages and with so many different tastes could result in so many conflicts!  I remember the Lucy versus Laugh-In debacle, as well as Disney versus 60 Minutes, and so on.  So many great programs broadcast simultaneously, and someone didn’t get to see his or her choice of programming.  An irreparable dilemma…or so I thought!

My own first internal conflict with programs scheduled at the same time happened when Batman on ABC, and Lost in Space on CBS, were telecast on the same night at the same time.  I remember Batman would air Part One of a two part episode on Wednesday nights, and on Thursday nights, the conflict was resolved, but to watch the drama unfold in the two part saga, I had to miss the first half of Lost in Space…and if I wanted to see the entire episode of Lost in Space, I’d have to miss the crime be committed on Batman.  Batman, of course, won the battle because every fourth grader, including myself, loved the show and wanted to emulate the caped crusader when Halloween arrived.   Well, half of Lost in Space was better than none, but there would never be a better solution to this problem…..or so I thought!

I remember going to visit my Grandparents and Aunt in South Philly on Sunday nights, and we were often in the car on the way home between nine and ten o’clock, and I had to miss watching Bonanza! I loved Bonanza, and I had a Bonanza lunch pail with a Bonanza thermos!  It was my favorite!   I knew there would never be a solution to missing a program I liked as much as Bonanza.  There were also the ten o’clock programs when I was a kid that I wasn’t allowed to stay up to see, like Carol Burnett, or Danny Kaye, or The Fugitive.  No, these programs were going to be broadcast once, never to be seen or heard again…or so I thought!

One of my favorite memories as a child was watching The Wizard of Oz on our black and white television, or one of my Grandparents’ black and white televisions.  The only reason I knew that part of it was in color was that I remember the black and white NBC peacock telling me so. I remember the film being shown only once a year on television, usually in the spring.  We always knew when it was coming, as it was an annual must see!  I also remember knowing where the commercial breaks would be from year to year.  I wasn’t fond of having to wait until after one or two commercials for the movie to return.  It was a long ninety seconds for a ten year old!  There was no way I would ever see The Wizard of Oz without commercials…..or so I thought!

Well, my parents’ technological advancements were astounding in the 70’s.  Our first color television arrived in 1972, right after the black and white one passed away.   The first time I turned on that TV, I was mesmerized at the color and the seemingly three dimensional picture.  We also were now the new proud owners of an amazing novelty that had apparently been around a few years, but it was new to us – UHF.  Now I found myself watching some sixties programs all over again to see them in color.  The new TV had a little round antenna on it to try to get a good signal, but, alas, the picture was not clear, but it was in color!  I was older now and able to stay up to watch the ten o’clock shows.  When The Wizard of Oz was aired that spring, the introductory peacock and much of the film was in color.  The timing of the commercial breaks, however, was unchanged.  It would be nice to be able to see the film in color and uncut.  Surely, advances in technology would never enable such demands….or so I thought!

By the end of the 70’s, we had cable television for the first time.  A channel called Prism would feature full length films on television!  Our distorted picture was now a thing of the past, and UHF channels were now a part of the cable channel lineup.  There were so many choices with cable television. The family dynamics had changed with my two older sisters now being married and out of the house.  The four of us that remained could usually agree on what to watch.  I found that only a few of the movies on Prism were box office hits, and most were flops. No Wizard of Oz on Prism!  I did wish that, with cable, I could somehow watch two programs that were on at the same time, but on different channels.  It wouldn’t work to have two TV’s next to each other.  There was no remote control at that point, so there was no switching back and forth between the two programs.  I would just have to miss one of the programs whenever this situation emerged…or so I thought!

In the 80’s, my wildest dreams were realized.  I could now watch a program on TV, such as The Cosby Show, and record Magnum, P. I. on a newfangled device called a VCR!  I would put this thing called a VHS tape in the recorder and Voila! Two shows airing at the same time and I got to see both of them!  My disenchantment with my VCR came in the form of not wanting to spend fifty to one hundred dollars for prerecorded material, and not wanting to fast forward a tape, because it would wear out the motor in the VCR, as well as destroy the tape.  I patiently watched recorded programs with commercials intact to be able to watch all my favorite programs, and to preserve the life of my VCR.  I recorded The Wizard of Oz with all its ads, and now my children could enjoy the film exactly as I did so many years ago!  It couldn’t get any better than this…or so I thought!

By the time the 90’s got here, I had three children, and a VCR.  I continued to record programs.  I still recorded programs from the sixties and seventies to enjoy.  I recorded children’s programs.  By now, though, those ninety second commercial breaks had expanded to three minutes, and reruns of my favorite syndicated shows consisted of butchered episodes to leave room for an expanded commercial window.  Prerecorded VHS tapes had dropped in price, and now I was the proud owner of my own commercial free copy of The Wizard of Oz, and the kids and I could watch it whenever we wanted.  Life could not get any better…or so I thought!

Soon it was beyond the year 2000.  VHS tapes were obsolete, and there were DVD’s.  Some movies, such as The Wizard of Oz, were now available on DVD, a good thing for my fourth and youngest child, who became obsessed with the film and watched it every day.  The DVD did not wear out, it played beautifully, over and over and over again.  Unfortunately, what I thought would be impossible was happening – I was growing tired of The Wizard of Oz!  Gone were the days when it was broadcast only once a year.  It was now on DVD and frequently showed up on Turner Classic Movies. 

I was officially middle aged by this point, and commercial breaks on television had become so long, close to five minutes, that sometimes I couldn’t remember what had happened in the program I was viewing before the break, and sometimes I couldn’t remember what I was watching! It would take an hour to watch a forty two minute program, and a half hour to watch a twenty two minute program.  Watching a movie on commercial television had become absolute torture.  Reruns of my favorite old programs had virtually disappeared with the syndication of newer programs and even some currently running programs.  I found that I could fall asleep during any length program.  Things would never be what I wanted them to be during my leisure time again…or so I thought!

Today, we are the proud owners of a newfangled invention called DVR.  We can record programs without the use of a VCR, and we can fast forward through commercials, and watch more programming in less time.  Survivor and American Idol are on at the same time?  No problem!  Miss The Office for American Idol?  I think not!  Miss Chuck when Dancing With the Stars is on?  Never!  There is also On Demand, where we can access and watch programs when we are ready, also without commercials. Our Cable Company has them already recorded for us!   In the sixties, I wasn’t allowed to stay up for any ten o’clock programs, now in the 2000’s, it had become impossible for me to stay awake during any ten o’clock program.  Now, with DVR, I’ll never have to miss Hawaii Five-O or The Mentalist again!

I haven’t seen The Wizard of Oz in about seven or more years, with or without commercials, but I know if I want to reminisce and watch the film again, I could take the carefully shelved DVD and find new pleasure in viewing it, perhaps with a grandchild someday!  My absolute favorite programs from the olden days have been released on DVD, most at reasonable prices because the programs are so old, and I am watching uncut and restored episodes at my convenience.  

If it ain’t broke, don’t replace it. Yes, I’m cheap and afraid to buy something that is not tried and true.  ­I have access to my favorite programming in my leisure time, thanks to DVR and DVD. Viewing pleasure couldn’t get any better…or so I thought.  With two ancient RCA televisions, with nineteen and twenty six inch screens, we are a little behind the times.  Rumor has it that televisions nowadays have bigger and wider screens and better clarity.  As soon as those RCA’s pass away, I guess I’ll find out!

Happy Birthday, Ken!

It's an awful news day.  Most of you are joining me in thinking and praying for the country of Japan and the victims of the terrible natural and not so natural disasters that are ravaging it. Most days, after reading the top news stories of the day, I am saddened and confused. To improve my mood I see what fluff is out there.  Lately, I have read so much fodder about Charlie Sheen in the fluff section, that I just skip to the nonsense section.  Today I have read in the nonsense section that Ken, the beloved hunk whose claim to fame is standing in the shadow of that floozy called Barbie, turned fifty yesterday.  Having been raised with three sisters, Barbie was a staple in our home.  The girls had a more classic version of the doll than today's Barbie fans have ever seen.  They had all the clothes and shoes, and I'm sure my little sister, who is, by the way, the same age as Ken, had a cool car for Barbie.

It was so much fun, as a kid, watching the sisters play with Barbie and her friends, because if they were playing with Barbie and her friends, they were usually happy and nice to me.  Anyway, along with the afore mentioned floozy came this shell of a guy named Ken. I know Ken was in our house at times when we were growing up, but I can't remember if he lived there, or if he visited from some other planet named "Joe's sisters' friends' houses."  I was not sure what to make of Ken in the olden days, but I was sure that I would look like Ken when I grew up...tall, fit, good looking, and a hit with the girls.  Yeah, that happened.  I was short, soft and shy.  No matter, though, I found love and am a family man who is very thankful for all the little things some take for granted.  I am, however, amazed at the sight of Ken at fifty.

A physical comparison of men like me at fifty and Ken at fifty would horrify the powers that be at Mattel.  First of all, we, the average guys in our fifties, didn't have that tight looking stomach, so why should he? Even the flattest and fittest of fifty year old bellies is not that shape.  It's time for his middle to pop out and soften a little.  Secondly, his hair is brown with blond highlights and he has a full head of it.  Don't you think it's time he start realizing the art of graying gracefully?  At fifty, my brown hair had turned gray and my blond highlights had fallen out.  Next,  Why is it that Ken's eyes have turned bluer over the years.  Is he wearing that newly discovered luxury...colored contact lenses.   And why doesn't he have any laugh lines or crow's feet?  He should appreciate what was given to him by God and enjoy eyes that are also turning gray, albeit not as fast as his hair.  Finally, At fifty, he has a bald body.  Does Barbie like him better this way, or would she prefer that he grow some chest hair, some leg hair, heck, even some hair on the back of his neck!

What about the environment of the fifty year old?  Ken is single.  He is probably a womanizer, with Barbie being the womanizee, even though his hair, eyes, and physique are all artificial.  I remember an incident when escorting my parents to a doctor appointment for my Dad.  In the waiting room, Mom went to register Dad, who had been taken to the examining room in a wheelchair.  I went and sat in a chair with a magazine in hand and waited for Mom's return.  Upon finishing with the receptionist, I overheard her say to Mom, "You can go sit with your husband now, Mrs. Bonanno."  That receptionist was talking about me! Mom quickly corrected the rude and obviously unperceptive woman in her Mom sort of way, "That's my son."  Mom was 81 at the time, I was 49.

I remember a time way before the fifties that had me putting in a row of small trees in the yard and my small daughter being behind me as I crouched to fill a tree filled hole with dirt.  She screamed, "Daddy, your head!!"  I answered, "What, Sweetie, what's the matter?"  "Your head.......I can see it!!"  I hadn't realized that this was the beginning of cringing every time the barber shows me the back of my head in the mirror every time I'm there.

I am priveleged to work with elementary school children.  If an elementary school child had Ken helping them while in his fifties, the question of age and why he was the way he was would never arise.  I, on the other hand, have been asked if I was alive during the Great Depression, if I have dyed my hair the color it is now, if the Statue of Liberty was still copper colored when I was a young boy...heck, I remember my first week on the job, I was told by one precious little third grade girl that I reminded her of her Poppop!  I was not even fifty at that point!

I realize that the target market for Ken dolls is not even aware that this moron has no brain...or lungs, heart, or stomach. He has never experienced the joy of helping a child, or the good fortune of having parents who he admired and enjoyed in good health and bad, or the special memory associated with every gray and missing hair and pound gained, or siblings that have been a constant stability in his life, or a wife to witness the glide into the fifties, or his own children who are quite honest about his aging process, or the privelege of having the good and bad news of the world at his fingertips.  I think I like my way of aging better.  Happy Birthday, Ken!

Dr. Seuss and cellphones....

This week is a very special week in Reading Departments all across America.  It's Dr. Seuss' birthday. The school has had funny theme days planned for this week. Monday's was Mismatch day and our Reading Specialist was so mismatched, I had to get my cellphone out and take a picture of her. Soon, the two Reading Specialists and I were exchanging funny cellphone stories. I must admit that I am getting more accustomed to having a cellphone, but it's been a bumpy road to being 'technological'!

I am the one who got my first phone with a camera in it and didn't know it had a camera in it.  I was at work moving boxes around in our reading lab and every time I bent over to grab a box, I heard a noise like a camera clicking.  I quickly straightened up to see what the noise was to no avail.  Finally, a coworker came into the room to help me with the boxes and when I bent over the first time she was in the room, and the camera noise happened, she said, "Are you taking pictures in your pocket, Joe?"  I looked at her puzzled and took the phone out of my pocket.  Sure enough, I was taking pictures of the inside of my pocket.  We had our chuckle and by the time I figured out how to work the confounded thing, there were at least 150 pictures of the inside of my pocket stored on my phone! It took me days to figure out how to delete them and hours to do the job.

Don't even ask about the first time I figured out how to set the ringer to vibrate and stuck the phone in my pocket.  I'm not going to go into detail, but my reaction to the first vibration and subsequent taking the phone out of my pocket gave quite a chuckle to all the parents at Back to School Night who were within earshot. 

I was glad when the dang thing finally fell in the toilet and I couldn't use it anymore...alas, I got a new cell phone with even more doodads to learn how to use. Now I can boast that I can text...albeit like molasses in January, but I can text! I'm technological!  :)

Conversation of the morning......

Brian:     "Hey Dad, can you help me fill out those forms tonight?"
Dad:       "Sure, but you need to be the one to remember to do it."
Brian:      "OK....remind me."


It explains a lot.