Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Technological Noisy Gadgets

I have a new Fitbit. 
Well, it's not really new. I got it for a gift from you know who last year on my sixtieth birthday. So, fourteen months later in April, I took it out of the box and registered it on Fitbit.com. It logs steps, sleep, heart rate, and more.
This thing is a little annoying. 
Sometimes it talks to me, but not vocally. I hear a little buzz on my wrist and a little note appears: It's step o'clock!; or Up for 151 steps?; or this desperate little ditty, Feed me!  Really?
It's a month since I started using it and I am getting used to the crying and whining. I'm thrilled with it.  
The thing gives me badge rewards for stepping. 'Boat Shoe' is where I step 5,000 steps in a day. Several of those have came me way. 'Marathon' is one that tells me that I stepped 26 miles...but not in a day. I got a badge and it took almost a month to complete.  And there is a 'Penguin March,' but I can't figure out what it is...but I got a badge for it too. Yay, me!
One time I decided it was rest time, so I sat comfortably until...Only 120 steps to go!  I ignore it when I need to.  
Wanna stroll? Really? While we're in church? I'll be in trouble! Maybe I'll skip out during the gospel, or better yet, the homily! It's gonna tell me that I Nailed it! or I'm Man of the hour! I think I'm gonna like this gadget!


Do you remember my new Android phone. 
You know who and her daughter (and mine) decided that I should get a better phone after a decade of dedicated service from my flip phones.
This new one takes pictures. Well don't ya know that my old flip phone did that!
I can text. Well don't ya know that my old flip phone did that?
I can call people and receive calls in the new phone. Well don't ya know that my old flip phone did that, too?
Now I have Google Maps! It talks to me, just like the Fitbit.
 You put the destination in and it knows where you are!
It will say something like Head South. 
What does that means? I know that South on a globe is down, and North is up. What the...? 
I drive. It tells me to turn around and go the other way.
Several blocks away the artificial voice tells me that Chichester Avenue is coming up. 
The voice says its a short i in Chichester. Chich-ester. Terrible! Chi-chester. That's better. Long i! 
How about Orange Street. The voice says Orange. O-range. Long a. Terrible! Orange with a schwa. It sounds like a short u. That's better! 
I'm remembering my reading assistant days fondly. But I think I need to teach the artificial voice a thing or two.
I got used Google Maps, finally. 
One day, there was no sound.. I was en route to see Jim, my brother-in-law, and his new place. My sister Lisa was visiting too. Everything was fine with the sound...except Google Maps. Usually the artificial voice would tell me to 'Turn here!' so I would turn. It didn't talk! I didn't turn! I missed several minutes of my journey. Terrible! When I got there, I studied the phone. Jim didn't know what happened with Google Maps. Lisa didn't know either. Finally, after a half hour, I found the problem. There is a little icon of a speaker crossed out on the map. I tapped it and cross went away. I tried a destination and - lo and behold - there was sound. Head northwest! Music to my ears! I'll find Northwest eventually, but its good to hear her annoying, artificial voice again!


I don't even want to talk about Bluetooth. 
Up until now, I thought that Bluetooth was a dental problem: a natural discolor of the teeth that needs dental attention. But NO! 
It is a wireless anything that can connect with something else. 
For Christmas I got a wireless speaker...a Bluetooth speaker! 
I could play music from my new Android!
Streaming. Music. Songs.  
Spotify? Amazon Music? Pandora? 
I tried all of them. 
I can't listen to an album in its entirety unless I want to pay. 
If I want to listen without paying there will be ads to listen to too.
My son John told me that I could get a little card and install it in my new Android and transfer my files of my cd's to it...so I did.
No streaming! My music! My albums! 
Back to the listening the way I want it to be!
I listened to streamed music with Bluetooth while playing Words With Friends. The dings and other sounds of my game made it impossible to listen to music without hearing the ticks and the dings of the game. I can still hear it with my music. 
I guess I can forego Words With Friends while I listen!


Noise, bad noise, good noise!
All in all, it's really good to get fit.
It's good to text faster.
It's good to go where I have to be.
It's good to have my music.
All in all, I like my noisy gadgets.

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