See what I mean?!





Tonight, Brian and I had some errands to run, so after we were finished, we paid my Mom a surprise visit.  She was still dressed in her Royal Wedding attire after having attended the celebration at her retirement community.  Now, see what I mean?!  I referred to her in a previous blog, saying that I have been referred to as her huband on several occasions, and at the time I was still in my 40's and she was in her early 80's.  Guess I'll have to suck it up........or suck it in.........or something!  She is my all-time favorite octogenarian!

Double Whammy!

I was hit by a ton of bricks on Monday.  No....No one threw them at me.  In fact, they really aren't bricks at all.  For me, they're those times in life when I take a look at my kids and see milestones coming and going.  When a milestone passes, it is celebrated, processed, and added to the collection of milestones in my brain.  Monday, though, was overwhelming.

My daughter, Karen, is a senior at Temple University, graduating in just two weeks.  She has assumed many roles while there:  she was a member of the Honors College, she was a teacher's assistant, she served as an officer in the Catholic organization on campus, She was a Resident Assistant during her junior and senior years, and she was an Owl Ambassador, giving campus tours to prospective Temple students and their families.  I know there are omissions to this list, but these are the ones that come to mind as I ponder the bricks thrown at me this past Monday.

It was this day that Karen would give her last tour as an Owl Ambassador.  She had been pestering my youngest son, Brian, to visit her at Temple.  Brian is a junior in high school, and a tour of Temple on Easter Monday would be appropriate.  It sounded like a no-brainer. We didn't tour Temple when Karen was looking at colleges, so it would be something new for all of us.

I felt the force of the first brick before the tour began as Karen came up to us and gave us our hellos and hugs with a room full of people present.  We were finally not a source of 'uncool' for her, for at times, she was proud of us.  She was all grown up. 


The second brick hit me in the heart when I heard her confidently introduce herself to the all the candidates and family members.  She used humor and her heart to endear future tour members to her.  Her banter referencing her Walmart having a parking garage for horses and buggies was a hit...and so was she.  She was cool.


The third brick hit a little more gently, and as a father, was the most rewarding to see.  She took all her tour members:  the candidates, their parents, her little brother, and her parents under her wing with a confident smile.  She maneuvered around crowds of students and endured having to speak louder than the passersby.  She never lost her cool or her smile.  She was the commander and the nurturer, and we were suddenly the disciples.


The sight of my youngest two children supporting each other during this critical time in both their lives felt like an approaching brick, too.  Not because it was difficult to see them doing this, but because I was looking at these two big people interacting as mature human beings.  Neither of them is a child anymore.  Rewarding, yet bittersweet.


The final brick hit as we were saying our goodbyes, knowing that the next time I would see her would be her commencement and award ceremonies.  She would be closing one momentous facet of her life, and beginning a new one, having already been accepted in the Teach For America program.  As we gave her the final hugs and ventured back to the highways, I thought about Brian too.  He has begun the process of finding the right fit for his hopes and dreams, and will soon be using all he has learned in his life to survive in the world of college life. 


Most days are not like this one.  We're busy with one errand or another, one of our children or another, one task or another, and all that the normal routine has to offer.  The bricks certainly don't hurt, they just take me by storm for a moment, and I realize the speed at which time has gone by, and that each brick has its place in this house I've built called life, and that I'm one fortunate guy!

Spring spectacle

Aren't these pretty?  There's a yearly tale that comes to mind whenever I see them on our front lawn.  They're grape hyacinths.  I remember that time in the the fall of 1993 when Jackie ordered a whole package full of bulbs from a mail order catalogue.  There were somewhere around 89 bulbs in that order.  We think it was 1993 because we remember that she was pregnant when these were planted.  Of course, if you think about the first few years of our marriage and think she was pregnant, you are probably right....  She had the intention of planting them herself, but couldn't bend to the ground to do the work.  So, yours truly planted the bulbs.  I remember putting every one of those bulbs where Jackie wanted them.  Most of the flowers were in one of the beds, and the last to be planted were the grape hyacinths.  Jackie wanted them on the lawn creating a half circle around our dogwood tree.  I was tired and didn't really feel like digging at that point, but being the agreeable and obedient kind of guy I am, I quickly dug the tiny holes and stuck them hyacinth suckers in the ground, grumbling with fatigue.  Tulips, crocuses, grape hyacinths, and more.....just anticipating a lovely garden in the spring.  Yeah, those grape hyacinths in the grass were pretty, but they grew during the first few weeks of the lawn mowing season.  So, every year when I mow at the beginning of the season, I must leave a half circle of grass so we can enjoy the splendor of those beautiful flowers.  We've had neighbors and passersby marvel at their color, and we've even had little girl scouts picking them.  Nowadays, many of the bulbs, most notably the tulips, don't bloom any more, perhaps falling victim to the squirrels and rabbits.  The ones on the lawn, though, still flourish in their purple splendor, weeding their way into my path as I mow the lawn.  I respectfully mow around them, creating that grassy semicircle.  Then within three or so weeks, those purple spectacles turn brown and I mow their stupid ugly little heads down and continue on my merry lawn cutting way!

It's the little things........

This week, a sweet little third grader whom I've had the pleasure of working with this year, and whose father is overseas serving our country, came from her seat in the classroom to my small group.  She placed herself in the chair next to mine and asked, "Mr. B., can this be my assigned seat?"  I answered, "Sweetie, we don't have assigned seats, and you're always the first one here every day anyway, so just keep taking that seat!"   She smiled and replied, "Yeah, I like sitting next to you 'cause you make me feel safe and help me focus."  Each year as an educator has its ups and downs, and I don't think I'll soon forget that poignant moment.............

Number One Son's New Addition

   

 It always does the old man's heart good when he and the Mrs. hear from the grown children.  Just a few nights ago, Number One Son Kevin checked in around 9:00........

     Rewind to Sunday morning around 7:00 a. m.  I began my morning routine.  I came down, put on the coffee, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, and went to the computer to check my email and play several obligatory games of Word Scramble on Facebook.  When I lost.......er.......got tired of that game, I checked my home page.  I scrolled and scrolled and read and read.  Soon I came to a picture of someone's back with a tattoo on it...a globe with a sword through it.  Pretty cool tattoo, I thought.  I went to see which of my Facebook friends had posted such a sight.  I should have stuck with the Word Scramble.  It was Number One Son......

     Within a minute I was able to close my mouth again, but my back began burning...and itching.  My son's bare tatooed back was now on the Internet for the world to see.  He now had a permanent tattoo.  I read the comments under the picture and resisted the temptation to post one.  I thought about the branding on his back, and then decided to process the whole thing for awhile.   After all, I got used to the bleached hair on another of my children and the belly button piercing on yet another.  Surely, I would adjust to this too.

     Finally, Kevin called on Monday night:

KEVIN:  Hey.
DAD:     Hey, how are ya?
KEVIN:  Good.  You?
DAD:     Good.............................So you got a tattoo?
KEVIN:  Yea. 
DAD:     Star Trek theme, so I read on the Facebook posts..
KEVIN:  Yea.  I designed it myself.  I figured you guys had seen it.  I'm curious to get your reaction.
DAD:     Did it hurt?
KEVIN:  Well, let me just say this.  All I could think about was that it felt like a ton of red ants all in one spot.  It hurt a lot.
DAD:     So, would you ever get another one?
KEVIN:  Oh yea.  I want to get one of (blah, blah, blah) and (blah, blah, blah).  I was too taken aback by the disgusting red ants to even contemplate the thought of future tattoos. 
DAD:     Just do me a favor and don't get one on your face or your neck, okay?
KEVIN:  Actually I always wanted to get one on my neck of a spider web.   Suddenly my throat felt like it was closing.


          I knew a Kevin tattoo was a strong possibility, for he'd been on his own for quite some time and hinted that he'd wanted one.  Kevin was a great kid.  I remember when we were expecting him.  When he was in the womb, he was never 'the baby'.  He was Kevin.  Tests to determine the sex of one's unborn child existed, but were not as common as they are today, so we didn't really know he would be a boy.  We had a girl's name picked out - Amy - just in case we were blindsided!  But our instinct was right.  He was Kevin!

   


  Some of my biggest challenges in parenting were the firsts associated with Kevin.  Of course, he was the first of our four pregnancies.  It was a relatively normal pregnancy with normal ups and downs, and a glaring exception - a train wreck.  No, not figuratively, literally!  His mother was riding a train into Philadelphia when she was four months pregnant and she was standing.  The train she was riding had a collision with another train.  She fell forward to the floor, but miraculously both she and Kevin were unharmed physically.  Many people were injured in that crash.  We were so thankful!


     Kevin was also the first of our children to go to Kindergarten, the first to graduate high school, and the first to be out on his own, enlisting in the Military at high school graduation time.  The firsts of the first child definitely had the greatest impact and provided the greatest anxiety.  We gained experience and wisdom through him, and hopefully didn't traumatize him too much.

                                                                                          

                                         
     Now he is the first to sport a tattoo.  I'm settled now, remembering myself at his age.  If I had been a loyal Treker all my life and wanted the repeated feeling of a ton of red ants in one spot, I'd have done it too.  When the child with the belly button piercing reluctantly revealed the deed, my mouth eventually closed, I accepted it and I knew it could be removed with ease at any time if it became uncomfortable.  When another child began to sport bleached hair, I knew it would grow out if its novelty wore off.  A tattoo, though?  I needed to research this.  Tattoo removal can be done with laser technology, and the scuttlebutt is that it feels like one is being snapped by a rubberband repeatedly. 


     I am still learning to pick and choose my battles with all the children.  They are each unique, and Kevin is no exception.  I look at a fit young man, always well groomed, whether in his military uniform or his comfortable clothes, I listen to him speak with such purpose, intelligence, and clarity; and I think that his Mom and I, with all our successes and failures, have a son to be proud of....and when he decides the time is right, and he needs another red ant fix or even a snapping rubber band fix, we'll still love and be proud of him.

     God bless you, Kevin......................... 

    

    

    


    

    

    

MY PERSONAL TOP TEN LIST: YOU KNOW YOU'RE MATURING WHEN:

My personal compilation: a top ten list of signs in the last few years of my imminent advanced age..... :)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE MATURING WHEN:

#10.  Your sister tells you that you're a cross between Dad and Grandpop!

#9.   A substitute teacher in your building informs you he graduated from high school with your son!

#8.   A coworker you assist in the classroom gives the students the word sparse as a spelling word and all that will come to
to mind is your hair!

#7.  You are reading a passage taking place during the Great Depression of the 1930's and a student raises his hand and asks if you were alive back then!

#6.  You are overseeing a student reading a story about Stevie Wonder at a computer and he raises his hand.  In amazement he exclaims, "Mr. B., Guess what!  Stevie Wonder was born in the 1950's and he's still alive!"  You proceed to tell him that you were born in the 1950's and it takes more than a minute for you to get him to close his dropped jaw!

#5.  You shovel two feet of snow after a blizzard and upon going inside, realize you've lost a lens from your glasses in the
snow.  It's nowhere to be found, so you frantically call BJ's for help.   They can have your new glasses ready in 24
hours, but in the meantime you go to work with adults that look like big blobs and children that look like little blobs, and you can only see half the TV.   You get the new glasses and upon asking the technician if she recycles old glasses, she guffaws and says to just  throw them away.  All is honkey dorey for weeks until the snow melts and you find the old lens in the front garden near the sidewalk.  You make the mistake of bringing the lens to work to show your coworkers, who know your story and nickname you Popeye and attach your found lens to a memo containing an announcement about you wanting to be called Popeye!

#4.  What's left of your salt and pepper hair is mostly salt, and you look at your shirt after a haircut and think it has snowed!

#3.  You gasp and scream when the hair stylist shows you the back of your head in that little mirror!

#2.  The receptionist in the Doctor's office thinks you are your mother's husband, and at the time she's in her 80's and your're in your 40's!

#1.  You raise your glasses and squint to see a student's paper and she shouts, "That's what my Grandma does all the time when she checks my homework......and she's like 50!!!!!"

A Natural Woman

       Blogger's Note:  American Idol - This piece was written the night before Pia was sent home.  My praise for 'America getting it right' turned to disappointment and shock at that moment.  Though I'm still enjoying this year's competition, the injustice of Pia's elimination has marred the final weeks' results for me.  She deserved better, and some with less vocal power deserved to leave sooner.  She would have been a perfect contender for the top three....... 

          American Idol has been very satisfying this year.  I am pleased with Jennifer Lopez’s stint as an Idol judge.  She is beautiful and intelligent and brings years of experience as an artist to the judges’ table.  Her advice is heartfelt and constructive.  She tries to get the best performances from the contestants in a way that makes Simon Cowell’s harshness seem passé.  Steven Tyler is a hoot as an advisor to the wannabes.  He is just the right combination of mildly raunchy, funny, and compassionate and has earned his seat on the panel.  Randy Jackson is now the ring leader, the veteran of the group.  He has the courage to say what he knows is working and not working in a potential Idol’s performance.  He has a backbone and a heart. 

     The nine remaining contestants have shown their talents within their genres, and I think there is an eclectic mixture of vocal styles.  America has done a fine job of voting this year and I think we have a nice competition taking place.  I’m finding that I don’t necessarily like all the voices, song choices, or genres, but I know why each performer is still in the running...talent!

     Each viewer has his own take on and is affected by this competition in a different way.  I was particularly touched by Elton John week and loved the Motown and Beatles tributes.  Last night, the top nine contestants performed tunes from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  The performances were all worth watching.  The only thing that made this blogger’s forehead wrinkle in confusion was the labeling of ‘You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman’ as an Aretha Franklin song.   Lauren Alaina was in good vocal form with the song and praised by the judges.    Randy exclaimed that Lauren sang a song by the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, a very difficult songs to sing, and did a good job with it, but that it had been done better.  I really like Aretha Franklin, know why she has been bestowed the title of Queen of Soul, and why she was inducted  in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1987.  I know why the single of ‘Natural Woman’, released by Ms. Franklin in 1967, hit the top ten on the Billboard charts.  However, the song, for me, will always be a Carole King song.

     First, the song was written by Carole King, Gerry Goffin and Jerry Wexler.  Without Carole, Aretha would not have recorded it.  Second, ‘Natural Woman’ was included in what was arguably the best and most groundbreaking album by a female artist ever recorded – Tapestry by Carole King.  It was the album’s finale and the twelfth of twelve first rate ‘gotta play them in sequence’ tracks included on the album.  Third, Carole King and Gerry Goffin have also been in the Hall of Fame since 1990 as songwriters, and deserved to be a part of the tribute.  Finally, I have seen this song performed by Ms. King countless times on concert videos and at two live concerts.  In 2010, nearly forty five years after it was written, Ms. King stopped the show with a knock out performance of the song at the close of the first half of her Troubadour Reunion Concert with James Taylor, and I had the privilege of being in the audience.  Friends who also had seen the concert that night confided in me that they were stunned because they knew of James Taylor’s ability to win over a concert crowd, but were not aware of the passion, energy, and audience connection the more underrated and private Carole King commanded, and cited ‘Natural Woman’ as one of their eye openers and favorite parts of the evening.

     So, in conclusion and in my opinion, any tribute to the song ‘You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman’ as a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame golden nugget must include both Aretha Franklin and Carole King in its introduction and praise.  To me, Ms. King is the premier ‘Natural Woman’, and, after all this time, ‘Natural Woman’ is still a Carole King song!  

   

The Bulletin Board

Thank you,  Amy,  for finding this saying in a fortune cookie and asking for a bulletin board with the saying on it. 

The more I read it, the more I like it!  I hope it's never too late to attempt to do something great...............