I Don't Like the Cemetery.........

It's been terribly remiss of me to shun visiting the graves of the family members I have lost.  I don't know if it's the feelings, fears, and frowns that come to the surface when I'm there.  It could be that I believe that loved ones that have passed are not in the cemetery in spirit, only in body; so I could study a photograph of any of them on my own time and in my own home and say a prayer and reminisce.  So why then am I putting a picture like this one in this piece?

It all started with a letter I received in the mail last week informing my family that my Mother's name and dates had been engraved on the headstone.  I felt the need to drive to Yeadon, about an hour away, to inspect the work.  I enlisted my Dad's sister and favorite nonagenerian, Aunt Rose, to brave the wind and cold and go with me.  She obliged and, after the drive and search of the parameters of the grounds, we found the grave and all was as it should have been.  The business of our visit was complete.

The irony of the whole thing is the coincidence of the placement of that grave.  Aunt Rose has retold the story to me again and I'll share it the best I can.  My paternal grandmother, Vincenza Bonanno, had passed away unexpectedly at a very young age just before Christmas, 1941.  My Dad, who was only 18 at the time, was still mourning her loss as he began hanging out with and courting my Mom.  A trip to the cemetery to visit the graves of lost loved ones in both their families revealed what is in this picture.  The headstone on the right with BONANNO engraved on the front of it is my father's family's memorial.  It was on that day in early 1942 that Mom and Dad realized that the graves of their families, both of which had been purchased decades before, were separated by only one memorial.  The headstone on the left with GIACCHINO engraved on it is my mother's family's memorial. 

So now, in 2011, I have been reminded of this small world story my parents shared so many times over the years with amazement and pride.  We have been at the site too much.  The maternal immediate family is memorialized on the left, and the paternal side, as well as Mom and Dad, are on the right. I'll probably not visit this place any time soon.  I prefer the warm feeling of seeing their faces in pictures and remembering the smiles through the years to being in Yeadon and seeing their names etched in stone.  That being said, I do love this small world story.  It is a metaphor for what the two families have meant to me and to each other through the years.  That will last forever........