A Found Treasure - 25 Years Later

My single greatest reward in this life...the one that caused the most stress and the most calm; the most work and the most play; the most humility and the most pride...is the privelege of being a Dad.  No single title or role defined me in my adult life more than that one.  In fact, from May of 1985, right after my oldest son Kevin was born, until March of 2000, when my youngest son Brian was in Kindergarten, I was a full time Dad. There were many emotions associated with this role. There was guilt for not 'bringing home the bacon', and depending on Jackie for it while we carried out our 'arrangement.'  I remember my Grandmom telling me as a child with her adorable thick Italian accent, "You better go to college or you'll wash toilets."  I think I had the last laugh with that one, though.  I went to college and I still ended up washing toilets!

There was embarrassment in the early years because the husband and wife just didn't have this sort of role reversal.  There were comments made about my being able to sit and watch television all day while the kids played and napped.  Well, my friends, my respect for stay at home Moms and Dads soared through the roof during those years because my kids were early risers, light nappers, and needed an audience as they played.  My admiration for Moms and Dads that go to work and must sacrifice time with their children is a mile high, too.  It wasn't always easy for Jackie to have to leave.  I know there were many times she wished she could be the at home parent. 

Through it all, though, there was ecstacy as we watched our four beautiful children grow.  We had our good and bad moments just like everyone else, but our kids had two good parents as they matured who worked together during good and bad times to keep the family going strong. 

Today, the kids are all over 18 and, for the most part, are on their own.  The clean up has begun.  Recently, I came across this poem while going through papers in the basement.  I like this poem.  Reading it again brought some old feelings to the surface, and I like the way I felt during those early years.  I am watching many friends and coworkers, and my own son Kevin prepare for parenthood, and sharing this now seems appropriate.  It's hard to remember a time when Kevin was the 'only child' and this just brought back so many memories.  Ironically, it had gotten lost in the shuffle again, with papers being piled in the main level of the house waiting to be sorted.  I rediscovered it yesterday and, ironically, the poem was written 25 years to the day before it was unearthed for a second time.  May my son and my friends who will be parents this year, and my friends who are parents know that feeling of unconditional love I had when I wrote this.  It isn't always easy, but thank God for the moments!  I need to share it...............

Kevin's first Christmas 1985

Kevin with newborn John - December 1986