Am I Alone?

Am I alone?

 I was young.  
Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water played countless times on the record player.  There were soothing voices, irresistible harmonies, a piano and an acoustic guitar strummed to perfection.

  I am older.  
I can't pinpoint the root of sad today.

Mid-October changes, outside cooling and dying.  Waking today and coming downstairs, doing my normal scanning of what music to enjoy on my Ipod.  Knowing it's a down day and the only tunes that resonate what I'm feeling are those of Simon and Garfunkel.  Time hurrying, social status and injustice, war, introspect, yearning, reflection.  
I am sad.....

Am I alone?

I was young.  
The Christmas season began the day after Thanksgiving and ended in early January.

I am older.  
The 'holiday' season begins right now.  Radio stations are threatening me by saying they'll begin playing 'holiday' music in just a couple of weeks.  Walmart's ready!  Their seasonal section is loaded with shiny ornaments.  Some retailers will be available for Thanksgiving Day shoppers.  As usual, I'm not feeling it.  
I am sad.....

Am I alone?

I was young.  
I remember a carefree time when local news was on each of the three major networks at noon and six in the evening and eleven at night.  As a child, I didn't need to see it all day long.

I am older.  
There are full-time news networks, and the local news broadcasts with 'the big stories' can never be too far away.  Hours filled with beheading, disease, and abuse anytime I want it.  A celebrity dies or gets married, the focus is temporarily shifted, and every angle of the fallen star's life event is reported, analyzed, and reacted to until we say, "More? Really?"  The overexposed story of the idol becomes yesterday's headline and the violence and horror move to the forefront again.  Is anything good happening in this world?  
I am sad......

Am I alone?

I was young.  
A trip to Philadelphia meant viewing the sights from the back seat, counting the '59 Chevys, looking for City Hall and the car crusher and waiting patiently for that hug from Grandmom.

I am older.  
A trip to Philadelphia this week on a gloomy, rainy Monday meant viewing drivers texting on the highway, and a young man on the street profanely fighting with the voice on the other end of his mobile phone connection. Narrow car-cluttered streets with vehicles that were parked everywhere and those that weren't parked had impatient drivers at their wheels.  
I am sad......

Am I alone?

I was young.  
Entertainment was belly-laughing to the point of tears for the whole family, subtle was the key to good humor,  a good voice or good beat and heavenly harmony ruled the music, violence and murder were off camera on the television and in the movies.

I am older. 
 It's a 'Let's see who can shock the most' era with in-your-face confrontation, betrayal, violence, and profanity.  Belly laughs have been replaced.  Saturday Night Live, once a favorite and formerly subtly risque, is now intentionally and intermittently vulgar. This week, thanks to On-Demand, I previewed Gotham, a new series that is the prequel to Batman. The beatings and shootings that were right on camera affected me.  It's to the point where, though the acting and production were top notch, I will not be tuning in anytime soon because I can't handle the deliberate, unforgiving on camera violence anymore.  
I am sad..... 

Am I alone?

I was young.  
It was the John F. Kennedy era.  When he was assassinated, I was led to believe that he could do no wrong.  I was seven and believed it.

I am older. 
I need to see that there is a leader somewhere out there with just a lick of my interest at heart.  My children are starting their young adult lives with expectation and hope...and ill-deserved debt and frustration.  It's election time again and the ads fill the television and radio, and the candidate's phone calls come in.  I don't believe anyone anymore.  Is it wrong for me to hope for some 'for the people' leadership to benefit my family, especially my hard-working children? 
I am sad.......

Am I alone?
I was young.  
I was taught to read and write in first grade, and when I was home I read and wrote...and played outside. My homework was a priority and screen time, though black and white and only 15 inches on the diagonal, was a privilege.  When a teacher was teaching, I didn't even think of leaving my seat to get a drink or use the restroom.  When my homework wasn't done, or when something needed to be signed by a parent, it was signed or I felt anxious as a result of my irresponsibility.
I am older.
I see screen time taking over our youth, trumping homework and outside play.  I see respect for learning diminishing.  I see a lackadaisical attitude toward authority, responsibility, and success.
I am sad....

Am I alone?
I am older.
I feel out of place in a world of less rules, more electronic stimulation, less respect, more defiance, less accountability, more entitlement, less regard for authority, more responsibility, less affordability.
I was young.
It was simple.  I looked at the world through rose-colored glasses. I was naive.  I saw the good in people until someone showed me the bad.  I thought that my folks and their folks would live forever.  I liked approval.  I sought the biggest laughs, the most poignant drama, and the most feel-good music.  I want it simple again.
 I am sad.....
Am I alone?